FluffySnowfall

Just wanted to let people know I will be posting new cosplay pics when I get off my lazy butt and post them <_<

This is not exactly going to be the most well thought out/well written post anyone has ever made on the subject, but I feel it is one I need to start compiling.  I have made this post on my Tumblr account, and felt that for me to start coming to terms with it I need to be more open with it.

As a few of you may know, as of late I have been doing a whole lot of soul searching these past few days.  Recent events have made me start to think about who I am and who I have been and who I will be.  Long story short I have been really starting to question my gender identity.  I have spent my entire life as a man, but those of you who know me know I certainly don't act the part.  I have always been rather effeminate in my actions and overall personality.  Whenever I play D&D I make female characters and really enjoy settling into those roles.  It has always felt "natural" for me when I have played these female characters, moreso than trying to really act like my physical gender.

I am beginning to realize that I am transgendered.  I have never felt comfortable being a man; and many times I have wished very hard that I was born a girl.  I have had many dreams where I am a woman and they always feel so "right".

As much as I know I shouldn't, I feel ashamed at this revelation.  I have always wished to be considered normal, but I can't deny who I am on the inside.   Sadly, sexual reassignment is not something I can pursue due to the cost and potential risk it would have to the legality of my marriage, the cost of the surgeries and treatment, and the social repercussions from society/family/friends.  I need to try to accept that I may never match the image of myself I have in my head, and that I will have to accept who I am on the outside.

I have tossed around the idea of cross-dressing as a means to possibly help with this dissonance between my body and gender identity, but I am worried this will make things worse.  If anyone has any suggestions for outlets I can pursue to help with dealing with my identity  I would greatly appreciate it.  Any help or resources would be great as well.

I may not be normal, but that doesn't mean that's wrong.  I may look like a man but feel like a woman, but that doesn't make me a freak.  I am still who I have always been, I am just starting to understand what that is a little bit better.  Please don't make me try to change who I am to fit your ideals or morals.  Please just accept me for who I am, how I act, and the actions I take in life.

Thanks for putting up with the ramblings of this confused person.  If you actually read through this post, and can accept me for me, thank you.  If you read through it and feel different about what you thought about me; I'm sorry, but this is who I always have been…

The Corgi Butts charity calendar finalists have been announced!  My little pup, Saber, has made the list of potential candidates!  You get to vote for 12 finalists to make the printed calendar, and I would appreciate it ever so much if you could vote for her!

corgibutts.blogspot.com/2012/0…

She is number 25!

Thank you everyone!